I'm sure there are quite a few out there who think I'm callous, have no heart, etc etc etc because of how you perceive my words. What a majority forget is that you haven't been here with me during these years of mine that have accumulated repeated exposure situations, some turned to what may seem ridiculous anxieties so the level of perception is skewed; the immediate thought that comes from the subconscious mind is that this is the first time I am encountering a situation or problem because this is the first time you're reading about it.
The great thing about having 5 years, that's right 5 years of counselling, reading The Road Less Travelled, Embracing Ourselves, Men are From Mars Women are From Venus, Touched With Fire; The Manic Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament, Peripheral Visions and The Power of Full Engagement is that I have a great understanding of things which is one of the reasons why I look forward to being 40; I might be taken more seriously.
I do understand where your perception is coming from otherwise even you wouldn't know what is going on other than, "hey that chick seems mean/harsh etc etc I'm not sure if I should be friends with her" then you unfriend me. Ok that's your choice but it's because of your perception that deems me to be wrong when you're missing "the years prior".
I would like to think that I have a great ability which is the ability to "empty the cup". Emptying the cup is available to those who are cyclothematic. This means that a situation can keep occurring for a certain time period (mine's usually 6 months) then the counselling cognitive therapy kicks in; see the problem, come up with solutions to the problem, action is taken. Now in the case of my mother in law; I have been saying for the last 4 years that she needed a residential care aid. I was deemed the cow etc etc etc but the reality is that she lives alone and if she falls with no phone on her person she is stuck there until she can move. She is over weight and 2 years ago she rolled her ankle, ended up in a nonwalking cast and refused any residential care aid help back then. So now you know that it is all her that is denying herself help that is free because I looked up residential care aid programs and it's free for low income seniors such as herself.
I have to say that I'm glad she isn't my mother because she'd hate me more than she does now. She would not have a choice about whether or not she has a residential care aid to check on her, take her shopping, smell the roses in the park, sit for hours at the hospital to do blood tests and it would be free and I would not have to worry about her well being anymore. I would be able to relax and visit with her but not under the strain of what my hubby is doing now in his passive aggressive non creator of change ways. In my years I have noticed that both my hubby and his mother have Oppositional Defiance Disorder this means that if you tell/suggest to them that using a circle as a wheel is far more conducive than using the square one they will find a bigger square wheel and use that. Ok that was extreme but I am Bipolar after all and I have to be funny. Don't hate me for saying it, you don't know the woman. Be grateful and empathetic in her disordered self function that you don't have to worry about her every day even though she is how she is.
The next case is with this appearing to be a stray pregnant cat and I've been discussing my emotion on FB. You think I'm mean etc etc etc. I say I'd like to kick the person who appears to have abandoned this animal; I never said where I was going to kick them, gosh it could be in the foot because stubbing a toe hurts far longer and seems to be more painful. I am angry with the owners of this place because they lived here and if that cat was here then why didn't they deal with it? They have been living here for 10 years at least. Yes I am angry at the neighbours for not dealing with this.
Now this is the part where you get to learn about having "the more sticks in the fire the more likely one will catch fire" technique. I fb'd the owner about the problem at about 6am (no response from them and I unfriended them this evening), I fb'd the local radio station wall, i liked the SPCA fb wall and asked if there was one in 100 Mile House. I got the number, the email address, called the number, got grumpy about the rude voicemail message didn't leave a message, emailed the request, it came back, went back to the SPCA wall did the follow up, they responded with a link and the name of the person in charge in this town, I clicked on the link, called the SPCA number to talk to the Drive for Lives program but due to the rude voicemail message I encountered and the person didn't want to hear all the steps I've all ready taken just to find her I hung up. I liked Women for Premier Christy Clark fb page where I asked her to provide monies for a permanent SPCA shelter with monies to pay employees to work with the Drive For Lives program which incidentally was not on the voicemail message. I re-emailed the same request but it went through this time, I could have misspelled it but it went through. Oh and I advised that the "shelter" here needs some lessons in service because the message is very unprofessional but welcome to 100 Mile House and my unfortunate passion levels about business conduct that got sealed from watching Donald Trump's Apprentice except mine are more because of the range of emotion that I try to keep contained while consistently taking my medication.
I want you to think about this; if I go to this length to give a cat a home without getting "blood of death on my hands" imagine what I can do if given the opportunity to defend the US Constitution right to bear arms? I, Bipolarly confidently tell you that if I got to talk to the President of the US that you'd still have that right but there will be changes but not like the pendulum clock the President and all his members are being like. I will invoke change in the senior citizen residential care program I declare it to be so. Why? *Smiles large* I like Women for Premier Christy Clark fb page and if I write I know she'll see to it. Why will she? Because I said something, unlike the majority of the world who doesn't do anything to create positive change.
Then again maybe I've had too many years of counselling which is why I solve problems the way I do. mmmm? This "passion" is like a fire inside of me waiting to be unleashed in creating change which explains why my website is tlctouchedwithfire.wordpress.com; touched with fire also means bipolar disorder as well. yeah yeah lol I'm always thinking about having to explain the minutest detail so that you may understand it and I don't have to repeat it 3 times because that's how many times it takes for some who are mildly affected by Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Seriously it does, I read it in a book, a psychology textbook.
Thursday, 14 February 2013
Saturday, 2 February 2013
The Importance of Being Able To See
With the recent bout of events that seems to be sweeping the nation of chemically imbalanced individuals with vengeance on their mind from repeated exposure that has altered their perception out murdering people, it is so important that being able to see beyond the result of the situation.
Recently an event occurred in my house and it's not a positive but it is a result of what happens when a situation/problem/issue keeps occurring. What started 4 years ago where I saw that somebody needed a residential care aid because they'd been looked after for 25 years. Of course they rebelled, rebuked, and turned their wide eyes into slits and the wickedness of perception and time started its clock.
The repeated exposure occurred when a phone call was made, the issue was presented, my thoughts/opinions were expressed, and the anger builds. Phone calls that were placed by the needy for purposes to gain empathy resulting in my thoughts and opinions building inside. The phone calls placed saying they needed to go somewhere requiring a driver and the requiring of items that did not warrant the driving 52 round kms that didn't even come close to the cost of fuel used to deliver such items. The amount of phone calls placed crying out for help claiming themselves to be stupid then my emotions are building inside saying, "She needs a residential care aid. She has PTSD, Dementia, Mental Illness of some kind, and is a WW2 victim. She has arthritis, is hypoglycaemic, has very little to no friends...."
This is where his emotions are building as well because this is mother, the one who brought him into this world, the one who helped provide him the needs of a child growing. He sees that there is nothing wrong with her because she's always been like that and the lines of thinking was a slow methodical process of altering. His anger builds, and resentment starts in which results in lashing out verbally and physical. The verbal lashing out is a normal cycle of feelings whereas the physical is not. There was no black and blue all over just enough to have created a rift between.
Most say run, get away. I agree because it is in most cases this can/will/could escalate. I forgive him because I understand why it happened; his anger was beyond control because of the repeated exposure. I have to forget the situation occurred, take responsibility for my part which is perceived as being the evil bitch from hell when it is out of being able to see what needs to be done and the reality regardless of what they think is that we wouldn't be fighting about the situation if I didn't care about the well being of his mother instead I'm just the bitch who signed a piece paper saying that I won't saying anything in regards to his mother for one month.
Would you like to know what he's doing to try? Well, he never signed a piece of paper saying that he'd try to be happy because that's what I asked for instead he goes off at the drop of a hat over every little thing as I sit in the land of insecurity trying to make it work because I understand, I forgive, and I'm willing to keep trying. It is not a perfect relationship but there is no such thing.
If I didn't tell you about this experience you wouldn't be able to see the importance of reading The Bipolar Workshop when it comes available because it has helped me see and it will help the world get their emotional range under control.
This morning I said that I didn't have a problem with him taking the jeep to work. I don't need to go anywhere today except he went out the door 45 mins early to it and he never packed a lunch, nor coffee and isn't answering his cell phone. I fear that he sees it as a subject matter in regards to his mother but the reality is that I don't have a problem with him taking the jeep to work it's cheaper on gas. And yes I do have a problem with him taking my jeep/my independence/my ability to go somewhere on his day off when he needs to attend to all the things his mother does because when he takes I'm the one stuck at home while her car sits in her driveway as she claims poverty that she can't afford to insure her car. (reason: she gives him money to do her tasks taking away from her income. She is low income and qualifies for a residential care aid with little to minimal expense per month and I'm pretty sure it's no cost.) But again welcome to being able to see. Will you come join me when The Bipolar Workshop is available so we can see together?
Recently an event occurred in my house and it's not a positive but it is a result of what happens when a situation/problem/issue keeps occurring. What started 4 years ago where I saw that somebody needed a residential care aid because they'd been looked after for 25 years. Of course they rebelled, rebuked, and turned their wide eyes into slits and the wickedness of perception and time started its clock.
The repeated exposure occurred when a phone call was made, the issue was presented, my thoughts/opinions were expressed, and the anger builds. Phone calls that were placed by the needy for purposes to gain empathy resulting in my thoughts and opinions building inside. The phone calls placed saying they needed to go somewhere requiring a driver and the requiring of items that did not warrant the driving 52 round kms that didn't even come close to the cost of fuel used to deliver such items. The amount of phone calls placed crying out for help claiming themselves to be stupid then my emotions are building inside saying, "She needs a residential care aid. She has PTSD, Dementia, Mental Illness of some kind, and is a WW2 victim. She has arthritis, is hypoglycaemic, has very little to no friends...."
This is where his emotions are building as well because this is mother, the one who brought him into this world, the one who helped provide him the needs of a child growing. He sees that there is nothing wrong with her because she's always been like that and the lines of thinking was a slow methodical process of altering. His anger builds, and resentment starts in which results in lashing out verbally and physical. The verbal lashing out is a normal cycle of feelings whereas the physical is not. There was no black and blue all over just enough to have created a rift between.
Most say run, get away. I agree because it is in most cases this can/will/could escalate. I forgive him because I understand why it happened; his anger was beyond control because of the repeated exposure. I have to forget the situation occurred, take responsibility for my part which is perceived as being the evil bitch from hell when it is out of being able to see what needs to be done and the reality regardless of what they think is that we wouldn't be fighting about the situation if I didn't care about the well being of his mother instead I'm just the bitch who signed a piece paper saying that I won't saying anything in regards to his mother for one month.
Would you like to know what he's doing to try? Well, he never signed a piece of paper saying that he'd try to be happy because that's what I asked for instead he goes off at the drop of a hat over every little thing as I sit in the land of insecurity trying to make it work because I understand, I forgive, and I'm willing to keep trying. It is not a perfect relationship but there is no such thing.
If I didn't tell you about this experience you wouldn't be able to see the importance of reading The Bipolar Workshop when it comes available because it has helped me see and it will help the world get their emotional range under control.
This morning I said that I didn't have a problem with him taking the jeep to work. I don't need to go anywhere today except he went out the door 45 mins early to it and he never packed a lunch, nor coffee and isn't answering his cell phone. I fear that he sees it as a subject matter in regards to his mother but the reality is that I don't have a problem with him taking the jeep to work it's cheaper on gas. And yes I do have a problem with him taking my jeep/my independence/my ability to go somewhere on his day off when he needs to attend to all the things his mother does because when he takes I'm the one stuck at home while her car sits in her driveway as she claims poverty that she can't afford to insure her car. (reason: she gives him money to do her tasks taking away from her income. She is low income and qualifies for a residential care aid with little to minimal expense per month and I'm pretty sure it's no cost.) But again welcome to being able to see. Will you come join me when The Bipolar Workshop is available so we can see together?
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