It's A Triggered Discussion

One of the mos important things that I can convey about having Bipolar Disorder is that this isn't a once in awhile disabilty, it's an everyday challenge.
We are triggered by environmental and situational conditions. I've been triggered several times this week and all it does is make me very angry and I can't function properly. I try to untrigger myself but it doesn't work all of the time.

I was triggered by people not respecting my hubby and his work schedule. I was also triggered because looky loo's (my place is listed for sale because the owners didn't want to fix the massive heating problem) took a picture of the crawlspace of all things. I am very offended by this because most of the places in my area are foreclosures and or former grow ops. It makes me think they're going to make this house a grow op and they could because they know most of the people on my road and it's the popular thing to do for people who live in the Vancouver area. They buy a house up here and grow marijuana. These potentials are from the Vancouver area.

The major trigger was not receiving a phone call from the looky loos asking what time would be best for us to have a building inspection. We live here. It's not an empty house where it doesn't matter the time or day. An appointment was booked last week of all things and I received an email on Monday telling me that people were coming over here at 10:30am on Thursday (yesterday). I asked to change that appointment because my hubby works from 3pm to 2am and doesn't get home until 3am. He was sooo crabby yesterday from lack of sleep. I asked for a phone call after 12 noon and what happened? I got a call at 8:30 in the morning of all things! I was so pissed off/triggered that I gave them crap for calling so early and then I try to change the appointment and I got a lame excuse and with that I hung up the phone.

I've been angry ever since Monday. I'm still angry because I was not respected. I have Bipolar Disorder, I take medication but that doesn't mean I'm immune to feeling anything.

Another trigger that happened this week was finding out my doctor doesn't have a clue what Bipolar Disorder is and how it affects and effects the life of the person. I was applying for a disability tax credit. I can't work in the normal workforce because I can't handle other chemically imbalanced and undiagnosed co-workers. I've had 5 years of counselling so everyday I have to look at what happened the day before or what is going on around me. It triggers my anger that 80% of people who consume substances have the mental illness DNA. Being chemically imbalanced or somewhat balanced is what makes great artists. Doesn't matter what "genre" in the art industry. It's the simple truth. I read Dr. Kay Redfield Jamiesons' Touched With Fire; The Manic Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament. Did you know that Robert Frost was chemically imbalanced, how about Shakespeare? What about Edgar Allen Poe? In fact 99% of our great literaries were chemically imbalanced.

REPEATED EXPOSURE TO SITUATIONS CAUSES ANXIETIES!

If you know someone who is talented in the arts, tread lightly, don't trigger, be respectful and most importantly do not make them upset or angry because it causes problems with everyday functioning.

I lost 4 days of writing because of being triggered and hubby is starting the day shift on Monday so here we go again; getting adjusted and trying to write and not have any triggers that takes away from everyday functioning.

TO ALL GOVERNMENT AGENCIES WHO ASSESS DISABILITIES FOR TAX PURPOSES

I'm shouting because I'm tired of government agencies not having a clue what Bipolar Disorder is, what it does, how it effects and affects individuals who have been diagnosed/undiagnosed.

Last year I applied through The National Benefit Authority for a disability tax credit certificate because  I am Bipolar. The information wasn't good enough. My interpretation to this result was that I'm not Bipolar enough.

I found new evidence of my Bipolar Disordered condition and 3, you heard me, 3 forms later I'm still being told that I'm not Bipolar enough.

The flimsy excuse of blaming doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists IS NOT GOING TO WORK ANYMORE. These people who have obtained their diplomas in their field do not spend enough time with their  patients. All they want to do is prescribe medication, and make sure you're doing blood tests.

Blood tests are a ridiculous concept because of the ever increasing amount of seniors needing blood test for this, a urine sample for that, and a feces deposit for this and that.

Just because they have a general diploma in that field of study does not make them an authority on Bipolar Disorder and any other kind of mental illness. They don't listen to what is going on the person's life. If they listened then they would be able to see a pattern as the highs, the lows, the emotional level ranges by learning how many physically traumatic and emotionally traumatic events that the person has had throughout the course of their life.

The next lesson you need to learn is that persons with mental illness are usually born chemically imbalanced as the balance because it's GENETIC. Once a physically traumatic or emotionally traumatic event occurs the chemical imbalance gets worse even on medication.

I also declare that you need to buy my ebook called I Am Normal... If You're Bipolar because it will be a great start to obtaining knowledge about what this and other mental illness are truly about.

So when somebody applies for a disability tax credit certificate for Bipolar Disorder pick up the phone and talk to them. They are the best source to refer to not some general diploma'd doctor.

It's A Happy, Fluffy Moment

Yes it's a happy, fluffy moment because my writing schedule has changed with hubbys' work schedule. It is a challenge as a person with Bipolar Disorder to get back onto track once a schedule has changed. Most Bipolars don't take to change, they get rather grumpy about the whole thing. If things aren't the way they usually are then there's an upset in the chemical balancing nature.

It can take several days before an adjustment is made to this newness or it can take up to 2 weeks for the adjustment. Most of the time it takes me at least a week to get back into the groove and by the end of the two week cycle I'm back to adjusting to another schedule.

So the happy, fluffy moment I'll take it because on the first day of the new schedule I wrote 3 pages for It's A Long Ways Up and the chaper I'm writing keeps pushing forward trying to get out.

I take my time because in the past I've been a flurry of activity, rushing to get something done. Ripping through time and space to end up exhausted or completely ignoring the life around me.

Yep, the happy, fluffy moment of doing, not stuck in the trying to adjust then by the end of a two week schedule just getting back into the moment.