Signs Of Bipolar Depression

I've been thinking about writing this blog about symptoms of depression because if one was to look at my facebook personal page and scrolled through you can tell when I'm up and when I'm down. I think most persons that have what I have post like I do.

I live in a town where it is considered quite the jaunt to my place and due to gas prices I'm rarely with my jeep in the driveway. When I do leave the house, it's almost like a believe it or not moment. There are people that I know, and well, I'm not interacting with them due to certain issues. I'm not getting into it. They know and well this isn't about them. It's about the typical chemically imbalanced person that is interactive in social mediums going through what I go through.

As an advisory note, when I click on someone to be a friend, I take it seriously. I don't click to add to the numbers and not pay attention. We are supposed to be getting to know one another. I cherish my friends that show their friendship by liking/commenting/emails.

Advice: If you want to add to your numbers don't add me.

This is where a depressive period comes into play.

I will unfriend those who don't give me the time of day. I am aware that everyone has their own lives and their own issues. I deal with mine everyday. Everyone has a scheduled time in which they spend on facebook. Some of us, like myself, spend more time than you. I'm addicted to Happy Island and Hot Shots. You can tell by the level I'm at. People send me requests to help, and I try to help. I've been helping someone and now it seems as though I can't because I don't really play the game, I tried and it's no fun when you don't have friends who play.

I blocked some people that I unfriended, I was going to block them all but it takes too long because I have slow internet. It's competing for first place with dial up. lol.

Another sign of depression is when it comes to wall photo posting. I found some pretty good ones. I try to make  fun of my problems and it's an off sense of humor. I have to find funny because I've read that most Bipolars are never happy. Most are grumpy, so I take silly photos of my Smurfs, Meemoo, or do things that most find dumb and etc, etc. I like being funny, I don't like depression.

A big sign is when something goes wrong even though there isn't the intention, that I won't like or comment when I'm always liking or commenting typically everyday. One could consider facebook, twitter, email as my lifeline to the world because I feel so isolated here.

When my facebook, twitter or email doesn't work properly like it should then I have a Conspiracy Theory that someone more chemically imbalanced and even more emotional than me has reported me or I'm not allowed to post my opinions and thoughts.

Every person on this planet has opinions, and thoughts.

My questions are these: Are you to be the only one who has opinions or thoughts? Are you the only one that everyone pays attention to? Should we only care what we're doing and stick our noses up at others?

I am scheduling an appointment with my doctor to find a medication that will stop the falling into depression, so affected by social mediums not working properly worked into one of the Conspiracy Theories.

How To Make A Better World for Bipolar Disorder

I'd like to talk about how as a person with bipolar disorder I have certain dislikes when it comes to situations.  Today I have an appointment which leads to wanting to enlighten people what trigger grumpiness or not to return to a place.

I don't like being stared at. I've had too much being stared at from a dog. When ever anyone enters a room or building the automatic habit of everyone is to look up/around to see who it is. There is an appropriate level to the length. Now some of you may say something about my looks. Just because I look this way doesn't mean that you get to stare longer, I am insecure and when people stare too long it's like there is something wrong with me. I am Affective, that means if you're happy, I'm happy. I can feel when people stare at me or have a snotty presence. I'm going to repeat I am insecure remember and have large anxieties from being stared at too much.

I don't enjoy going to the doctor office or to a place where there are doors with a waiting room. Most offices aren't sound proof. Everyone hears what your problems are, especially if one is excited, or angry. For some a loud level is the normal voice level. For me, the door must be closed. Do not leave it open the rest of the world to hear what we're discussing. If it is closed at the beginning do not leave the door open if you left the office to do something. Don't even think about opening the door at any time during our encounter. It should be Mental Health policy that all  doctor, counselling offices be sound proof for the privacy and protection of persons with a chemical imbalance.

Something that drives me is when I go to the hairdresser and they wreck my hair. It's like they do it on purpose because they don't like me. I could be wrong and they don't know how to cut my type of hair properly. Don't double book me and not call. If you're a small operation tell your clients who arrive early to find something else to do because I received a 75% hair cut. I don't enjoy other people around at my appointments because it feels like they're all staring at me with snotty attitudes. Don't expect me to be back anytime soon or ever if I have a choice.

I thought about taking photos of the places I like to go but thought everyone would think it's stupid. The point behind it was that as a person with bipolar disorder or any chemically imbalanced person has certain places they like to go. They don't go to other places where they received bad service or dislike things going on at places of businesses. My favorite movie store is closing and that makes me unhappy because I go there for a reason and if I can help "save" them then I shall because I've taken enough courses to know what to do and besides the fact that I love movies and have an extensive library. I don't want to go to the other movie rental store because of crappy parking, and there isn't the selection.

This leads to my happy level of returning to a hairdresser who cut my hair perfectly. I got to see her a couple of times then she left that hairdressing salon, went into business for herself but couldn't do the self employed part, relocated to a different town (I didn't know where she went) and while getting my hair cut learned she's back in town and I know where she works now.

I know that the whole being stared at issue does create some problems in regards to appearing on TV shows because one day I'd like to be on one. I keep telling myself that when that day comes it will be different; it will be wanted attention, not unwanted.

Something else that I'd like to discuss is how hard it is to deal with change. My hubby works at a mill where for two weeks he works during the day and then two weeks afternoons. Being of this way it is hard for me to be adjusted and the cycle is always there. By the time I start getting on and feeling like doing, his work schedule changes, then it's get used to functioning during that time period and soon he'll back to the other shift. I do wish that I knew of a chemically balancing medication that would make the constant changing have less down time.

Now to get ready for people and their unconscious behaviors.

Going On A Road Trip

I love being funny, it is far more fun than the depressedness. (The essence of depression). If I can't laugh and get excited about being able to find treasures that are cheap and the value is more. Most importantly is the fact that I get to go somewhere and see the landscape because it enthralls me. I could stare all day long at landscape.

So this is me being excited and funny. This is sung like Going on a Lion Hunt :)

Going on a road trip
going on a road trip
I'm not afraid, I've got my hubby by my side

Going on a road trip
going on a road trip
oopp there's a light
can't go around it
got to go through it

Going on a road trip
going on a road trip
oopp there's a bridge
can't go under it
gotta go over it

Going on a road trip
going on a road trip
oopp here we are
I've got cash in hand
let's find the treasure

LOL :)