One of the mos important things that I can convey about having Bipolar Disorder is that this isn't a once in awhile disabilty, it's an everyday challenge.
We are triggered by environmental and situational conditions. I've been triggered several times this week and all it does is make me very angry and I can't function properly. I try to untrigger myself but it doesn't work all of the time.
I was triggered by people not respecting my hubby and his work schedule. I was also triggered because looky loo's (my place is listed for sale because the owners didn't want to fix the massive heating problem) took a picture of the crawlspace of all things. I am very offended by this because most of the places in my area are foreclosures and or former grow ops. It makes me think they're going to make this house a grow op and they could because they know most of the people on my road and it's the popular thing to do for people who live in the Vancouver area. They buy a house up here and grow marijuana. These potentials are from the Vancouver area.
The major trigger was not receiving a phone call from the looky loos asking what time would be best for us to have a building inspection. We live here. It's not an empty house where it doesn't matter the time or day. An appointment was booked last week of all things and I received an email on Monday telling me that people were coming over here at 10:30am on Thursday (yesterday). I asked to change that appointment because my hubby works from 3pm to 2am and doesn't get home until 3am. He was sooo crabby yesterday from lack of sleep. I asked for a phone call after 12 noon and what happened? I got a call at 8:30 in the morning of all things! I was so pissed off/triggered that I gave them crap for calling so early and then I try to change the appointment and I got a lame excuse and with that I hung up the phone.
I've been angry ever since Monday. I'm still angry because I was not respected. I have Bipolar Disorder, I take medication but that doesn't mean I'm immune to feeling anything.
Another trigger that happened this week was finding out my doctor doesn't have a clue what Bipolar Disorder is and how it affects and effects the life of the person. I was applying for a disability tax credit. I can't work in the normal workforce because I can't handle other chemically imbalanced and undiagnosed co-workers. I've had 5 years of counselling so everyday I have to look at what happened the day before or what is going on around me. It triggers my anger that 80% of people who consume substances have the mental illness DNA. Being chemically imbalanced or somewhat balanced is what makes great artists. Doesn't matter what "genre" in the art industry. It's the simple truth. I read Dr. Kay Redfield Jamiesons' Touched With Fire; The Manic Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament. Did you know that Robert Frost was chemically imbalanced, how about Shakespeare? What about Edgar Allen Poe? In fact 99% of our great literaries were chemically imbalanced.
REPEATED EXPOSURE TO SITUATIONS CAUSES ANXIETIES!
If you know someone who is talented in the arts, tread lightly, don't trigger, be respectful and most importantly do not make them upset or angry because it causes problems with everyday functioning.
I lost 4 days of writing because of being triggered and hubby is starting the day shift on Monday so here we go again; getting adjusted and trying to write and not have any triggers that takes away from everyday functioning.
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