With the recent bout of events that seems to be sweeping the nation of chemically imbalanced individuals with vengeance on their mind from repeated exposure that has altered their perception out murdering people, it is so important that being able to see beyond the result of the situation.
Recently an event occurred in my house and it's not a positive but it is a result of what happens when a situation/problem/issue keeps occurring. What started 4 years ago where I saw that somebody needed a residential care aid because they'd been looked after for 25 years. Of course they rebelled, rebuked, and turned their wide eyes into slits and the wickedness of perception and time started its clock.
The repeated exposure occurred when a phone call was made, the issue was presented, my thoughts/opinions were expressed, and the anger builds. Phone calls that were placed by the needy for purposes to gain empathy resulting in my thoughts and opinions building inside. The phone calls placed saying they needed to go somewhere requiring a driver and the requiring of items that did not warrant the driving 52 round kms that didn't even come close to the cost of fuel used to deliver such items. The amount of phone calls placed crying out for help claiming themselves to be stupid then my emotions are building inside saying, "She needs a residential care aid. She has PTSD, Dementia, Mental Illness of some kind, and is a WW2 victim. She has arthritis, is hypoglycaemic, has very little to no friends...."
This is where his emotions are building as well because this is mother, the one who brought him into this world, the one who helped provide him the needs of a child growing. He sees that there is nothing wrong with her because she's always been like that and the lines of thinking was a slow methodical process of altering. His anger builds, and resentment starts in which results in lashing out verbally and physical. The verbal lashing out is a normal cycle of feelings whereas the physical is not. There was no black and blue all over just enough to have created a rift between.
Most say run, get away. I agree because it is in most cases this can/will/could escalate. I forgive him because I understand why it happened; his anger was beyond control because of the repeated exposure. I have to forget the situation occurred, take responsibility for my part which is perceived as being the evil bitch from hell when it is out of being able to see what needs to be done and the reality regardless of what they think is that we wouldn't be fighting about the situation if I didn't care about the well being of his mother instead I'm just the bitch who signed a piece paper saying that I won't saying anything in regards to his mother for one month.
Would you like to know what he's doing to try? Well, he never signed a piece of paper saying that he'd try to be happy because that's what I asked for instead he goes off at the drop of a hat over every little thing as I sit in the land of insecurity trying to make it work because I understand, I forgive, and I'm willing to keep trying. It is not a perfect relationship but there is no such thing.
If I didn't tell you about this experience you wouldn't be able to see the importance of reading The Bipolar Workshop when it comes available because it has helped me see and it will help the world get their emotional range under control.
This morning I said that I didn't have a problem with him taking the jeep to work. I don't need to go anywhere today except he went out the door 45 mins early to it and he never packed a lunch, nor coffee and isn't answering his cell phone. I fear that he sees it as a subject matter in regards to his mother but the reality is that I don't have a problem with him taking the jeep to work it's cheaper on gas. And yes I do have a problem with him taking my jeep/my independence/my ability to go somewhere on his day off when he needs to attend to all the things his mother does because when he takes I'm the one stuck at home while her car sits in her driveway as she claims poverty that she can't afford to insure her car. (reason: she gives him money to do her tasks taking away from her income. She is low income and qualifies for a residential care aid with little to minimal expense per month and I'm pretty sure it's no cost.) But again welcome to being able to see. Will you come join me when The Bipolar Workshop is available so we can see together?
No comments:
Post a Comment